All about Our Open Adoptions

Adoption is all about love & sacrifice. There are a lot of misconceptions about adoption & especially open adoption. Adoption is definitely not how it used to be. More & more adoptions today are defined as "open" vs "closed." Closed adoption is when the birth parents sign over their rights without ever meeting their child's new adopted parents and agree to never see the child again, this is often arranged through an agency. Open adoption is a plan in which the birth parents and adopted parents form a relationship and the birth parents will still be in the child's life. They may not see the child that often but they will get updates & even see the child every now and then. There are currently no laws mandating open adoptions so it is basically a verbal agreement between the birth & adoptive parents & the amount of contact is based on what feels comfortable for everyone. Open adoption has been proven beneficial to help the birth parents and the child because it doesn't leave anybody wondering what if or why and helps provide closure. David and I were a little nervous about open adoption in the very beginning of our journey, but the more we learned about it & the more adoptive parents that we talked to, the better we felt! We knew we wanted to meet our birth moms face to face & be as involved as possible in the adoption process. We decided we wanted to always have some type of ongoing relationship with them. I think we were a little nervous at first on how we would all feel after we left the hospital with the baby & how it may be awkward or how they would interact with the baby. But, we didn't want our children to have any questions as to why they were placed for adoption or wonder what their birth parents were like. We wanted them to have closure and peace of mind getting answers to all their questions. Also, I think once we had time to truly bond with the baby & began to really feel like parents then we realized we were proud to share our wonderful baby with someone else who was pretty proud too. I think it will help our boys to understand how loved they are to have birth moms who still care enough to keep in touch & the ability to develop relationships with their birth siblings as well. We always say they have double the love!! In the future, they may still have questions about their adoption & we may have to answer lots of questions as they grow up and understand it more, but I pray that already having that relationship in place will help. Both of our boys do have open adoptions. The relationships that we have are not always easy & they do take work at times, a two-way commitment and a selfless love on both parts but I am still glad that we chose this path! We regularly e-mail, send pics & try our best to plan visits. This summer we have had the opportunity to see both boy's birth moms & birth sisters. Caden's birth sister even spent two weeks with us & the relationship that she & Caden have is so so special & sweet. We feel blessed to have the types of relationships that we do and we are so glad that adoptions have changed so much in the past few years to allow us these type of relationships. God has put us all together for a reason & we are honored that these women trusted us with the greatest gift ever. Really, the least that we can do is honor our commitment to an open ongoing relationship that in the end blesses us all!

At the hospital with Caden & his birth mom.

Caden & his birth sister.

They really have a special bond!

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At the hospital with Caleb & his birth mom.

Paying It Forward

We have had such great experiences with people passing on our information & desire to adopt & being able to adopt privately & as a result have had so many people contact us for tips & advice. Sometimes the info can we overwhelming but I hope that some of it is helpful too. Our family has been so blessed with our two sweet boys & our open adoptions are great & I want to help others complete their families too. I saw this quote on another blog that I was reading & I loved it: "Adoption is very messy. It is beautiful and full of God, but it’s not simple or tidy. There is lots of stuff to sort through and many miracles must take place every time adoption happens. It’s such a beautiful picture of the way God has adopted us. Our adoption as sons and daughters in God’s family is messy, too. It involves repentance and brokenness and usually some tears. But in the end, this way that God has provided through Jesus, this way back to him after things were messed up by sin, brings a perfect reconciliation of broken things in our lives and our relationship with him. Just as adoption is a perfect reconciliation of physical brokenness: a husband and wife who are broken because they can't conceive, and a child born without a whole family. It all comes together to create a new, whole, un-broken family. Two broken things made whole, for the glory of God. God adopting us – children who sinned and messed up his perfect original plan – is the ultimate reconciliation of what was broken in the Garden of Eden. It all comes full circle in some crazy, mysterious way.I think that those who are touched by adoption will agree that it is a miraculous and blessed thing to be a part of, one that changes you and opens your eyes; one that leaves you forever imprinted with the image of God and the whisper of his love in your life.Our God is the God of miracles, and I am so blessed to be adopted into His eternal, victorious family!"
Right now my two sweet boys are asleep & our oldest son, Caden's birth sister is asleep in the room next door. I never imagined that we would have this type of relationship but I know that God put us in each other's lives for a reason. She is spending 3 weeks with us this summer & we see her frequently throughout the year. She is 9 & is so in love with her baby brother & now loves being around Caleb too. She calls us Aunt Kenya & Uncle David & loves us too. Adoptive families are definitely unique but I just feel blessed. To help other families that are in the process of adoption, I would like to post profiles of couples in hopes that connections can be made & more families can share in the wonderful blessing of adoption!

Please check out this sweet family's adoption site & please pass it on or post a link to it on your blog if you have one! http://www.johndeniseadoption.blogspot.com/

Also if you have an adoption website/blog please let me know & I will add it on here!